This week, I did not go to work, not because I didn’t want to but because I couldn’t. I am walking the fine line of keeping my shit together and completely falling apart. I know that, and I also know what my priorities are, which are different than they used to be. Work or a… Continue reading “Even heroes have the right to bleed”
In the summer of 2002, I went through a crisis period. I was teaching at the college in my hometown when the weight of the abuse I suffered as a child came crashing down on me. I was completely consumed by “the work”. Every free minute I had was dedicated to writing, exploring, feeling. And… Continue reading In Honor of Carrie
It was cooler than it is today five years ago, but the sky was the same. A little overcast, but sunny, and it felt grey. A few days earlier we had celebrated my father-out-law’s (former father-in-law) 65th birthday at a fancy restaurant. A fancy restaurant where Liam and I got food poisoning. My 10-month-old had… Continue reading 5 Years Later
I haven’t worked in the business since before my son was born but I have been applying for theatre jobs steadily for the last year. I haven’t been seriously looking. I was just keeping an eye on the market and if a dream position came up I’d apply. Not once did I get an interview.… Continue reading Faith and Intuition: In Practice
Liam is gone for ten days. Oliver has been gone for five and will return late tomorrow. I find myself with an entire day to myself and knowing exactly what to do. I slept until nearly 10:00 this morning. Once normal, or even early, this is unheard of these days when 8:00 seems like a… Continue reading Gift of Time
My parents separated for the first time when I was 6 years old. I didn’t understand what was happening. I was told we were moving and would be closer to Grandma and Grandpa. This excited me. I don’t recall feeling extraordinary loss at the time and it didn’t take long for my father to follow… Continue reading What I Never Wanted
Two days after I wrote about Guidepost 10, Cultivating Laughter, Song, and Dance: Letting go of Cool and in Control, I auditioned for a local production of the Andrew Lippa musical BIG FISH. Last spring, I auditioned for the first time in ten years. I always HATED auditioning. My anxiety got the best of me.… Continue reading Guidepost 10 in Practice, I Mean, Rehearsal
That’s how it started. Taco Bell at the PX in Wurzburg, Germany. Later that day, I took a dose of Dulcolax. After all, I had a whole box left. A couple of times a week turned to every other day which progressed from everyday to multiple times a day
I have been sitting on this last guidepost for a couple of months now. Why? Because this one, cultivating laughter, song, and dance, is suddenly so hard for me. “How is this even possible” I have wondered? When did I start to take myself so seriously? I went to school for laughter, song, and dance.… Continue reading Me and Brené, Cultivating Laughter, Song, and Dance
I am a coward. I hear a lot of talk of my courage, my bravery, my integrity. But the fact of the matter is that I lie to the most important person in my world on a regular basis because I am afraid. I love my son. Telling him “there is nothing I wouldn’t do… Continue reading The Paralysis of Fear
My Voice. My Vision. 