divorce, self help

Peace in Place of Father

His absence gave my mother the space she needed to find herself. It gave my sisters and me the possibility for peace we hadn’t known. The moments when he would come back into our lives wreaked havoc on any progress I’d made, more often than not he’d be drunk and embarrassing. These occasions opened old wounds and it became very clear to me that the best thing he could do was to stay away.

coparenting, domestic violence, mental health, self help

What I Never Wanted

My parents separated for the first time when I was 6 years old. I didn’t understand what was happening. I was told we were moving and would be closer to Grandma and Grandpa. This excited me. I don’t recall feeling extraordinary loss at the time and it didn’t take long for my father to follow… Continue reading What I Never Wanted

coparenting, family court

What’s the Saying About Insanity?

Three years ago this week we appeared in family court for the first time, after a year and a half of back and forth intimidation without attorneys. Tomorrow I will represent myself before our judge for the tenth time.  For the most part, I would say it gets easier all the time. I know what… Continue reading What’s the Saying About Insanity?

community

Practicing Faith and Authenticity in Family Court

My dreams did not come true today. It was close. I learned about the Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality as I was in the car on my way home from the courthouse. I cried tears of relief, fear and happiness. As a proud advocate for LGBTQ rights for the whole of my adult life… Continue reading Practicing Faith and Authenticity in Family Court

community, health

Thanks, Mom

“In recognition of Domestic Violence Awareness Month I light this candle of gratitude for my mother, Lynn, who had the courage to leave an abusive husband with three young daughters in tow. I am certain she saved our lives, and she taught us that love shouldn’t hurt.” Every Sunday at worship at the Unitarian Universalist… Continue reading Thanks, Mom

Uncategorized

A Vote of Confidence

Two years ago this week my grandmother died. She and I were not close, in fact she had disowned me when I was a teenager. I had been trying to reestablish a relationship for a few years before she died. She loved my little boy, though and I wanted to be there when she died.… Continue reading A Vote of Confidence