It was cooler than it is today five years ago, but the sky was the same. A little overcast, but sunny, and it felt grey. A few days earlier we had celebrated my father-out-law’s (former father-in-law) 65th birthday at a fancy restaurant. A fancy restaurant where Aidan and I got food poisoning. My 10-month-old had… Continue reading 5 Years Later
Aidan is gone for ten days. Markus has been gone for five and will return late tomorrow. I find myself with an entire day to myself and knowing exactly what to do. I slept until nearly 10:00 this morning. Once normal, or even early, this is unheard of these days when 8:00 seems like a… Continue reading Gift of Time
My parents separated for the first time when I was 6 years old. I didn’t understand what was happening. I was told we were moving and would be closer to Grandma and Grandpa. This excited me. I don’t recall feeling extraordinary loss at the time and it didn’t take long for my father to follow… Continue reading What I Never Wanted
I am a coward. I hear a lot of talk of my courage, my bravery, my integrity. But the fact of the matter is that I lie to the most important person in my world on a regular basis because I am afraid. I love my son. Telling him “there is nothing I wouldn’t do… Continue reading The Paralysis of Fear
In telling part of my story in a very public way for the first time I was able to chip away at some of the paralyzing fear he left me with.