Relationship Inventory

How does your relationship hold up?  Answer the following questions to see if there may be something amiss.

teen-dating-violence

The person I am with: Circle One
1. Is very supportive of things that I do. Yes No
2. Encourages me to try new things. Yes No
3. Likes to listen when I have something on my mind. Yes No
4. Understands that I have my own life too. Yes No
5. Is disliked by my friends. Yes No
6. Says I’m too involved in different activities. Yes No
7. Texts me or calls me all the time. Yes No
8. Thinks I spend too much time trying to look nice. Yes No
9. Gets extremely jealous or possessive. Yes No
10. Accuses me of flirting or cheating. Yes No
11. Constantly checks up on me or makes me check in. Yes No
12. Controls what I wear or how I look. Yes No
13. Tries to control what I do and who I see. Yes No
14. Tries to keep me from seeing or talking to my family and friends. Yes No
15. Has big mood swings – gets angry and yells at me one minute, and the next minute is sweet and apologetic. Yes No
16. Makes me feel nervous or like I’m “walking on eggshells.” Yes No
17. Puts me down, calls me names or criticizes me. Yes No
18. Makes me feel like I can’t do anything right or blames me for problems. Yes No
19. Makes me feel like no one else would want me. Yes No
20. Threatens to hurt me, my friends or family. Yes No
21. Threatens to hurt him or herself because of me. Yes No
22. Threatens to destroy my things. Yes No
23. Grabs, pushes, shoves, chokes, punches, slaps, holds me down, throws things or hurts me in some way. Yes No
24. Breaks things or throws things to intimidate me. Yes No
25. Yells, screams or humiliates me in front of other people. Yes No
26. Pressures or forces me into having sex or going farther than I want to. Yes No

Give yourself 1 point for every “no” you answered for numbers 1-4.

Give yourself 1 point for every “yes” you answered on numbers 4-8.

Give yourself 5 points for every “yes” response on numbers 9-26.

Now that you’re finished and have your score, the next step is to find out what it means. Simply take your total score and see which of the categories below apply to you.

Score: 0 Points

You got a score of zero? Don’t worry — it’s a good thing! It sounds like your relationship is on a pretty healthy track. Maintaining healthy relationships takes some work — keep it up!

Score: 1-2 Points

If you scored one or two points, you might be noticing a couple of things in your relationship that are unhealthy, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they are warning signs. It’s still a good idea to keep an eye out and make sure there isn’t an unhealthy pattern developing. The best thing to do is to talk to your partner and let them know what you like and don’t like. Encourage them to do the same. Remember, communication is always important when building a healthy relationship. It’s also good to be informed so you can recognize the different types of abuse.

Score: 3-4 Points

If you scored three or four points, it sounds like you may be seeing some warning signs of an abusive relationship. Don’t ignore these red flags. Something that starts small can grow much worse over time. No relationship is perfect but in a healthy relationship you won’t find abusive behaviors.

Score: 5 or More Points

If you scored five or more points, you are definitely seeing warning signs and may be in an abusive relationship. Remember the most important thing is your safety — consider making a safety plan.

©Love Is Respect 2012

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