I am doing research on suicide in the arts for suicide prevention week and was startled by the high risk faced by creative professionals. The rate is four times higher than the average population. One possible cause is the recurring rejection of a personal product, or yourself in the case of performers. Stress adds to… Continue reading Teaching Him to Feel His Pain
In August, I set a new personal record. Not in a 5k, not in number of pounds lost, or cupcakes turned down. I was in court three times in August. Three times in a single month. Not only was I in court three different times, but I was in three different courtrooms for three different… Continue reading Nevertheless, She Persisted
Late Sunday afternoon it occurred to me that I had heard nothing about Hurricane Harvey. That was all we’d heard about Friday and Saturday, the massive storm about to hit the Texas Gulf Coast. I found it odd that there wasn’t a prayer said for the victims of Harvey at church that morning. Though I… Continue reading Look for the helpers.
This journey has taken me places I never expected. The obstacles and the detours have frightened, frustrated, and nearly destroyed me, but look at me now!
There was a time when I practiced yoga or pilates daily. When I stopped, I excused it as being a physical problem. I have had painful tendonitis in both wrists since I was a senior in high school. Many positions, like downward or upward dog, chaturanga, are really hard on my wrists. This is a… Continue reading Just a Little Further
When Aidan came home a year ago asking me if he was a mistake, my heart broke. He continued to ask questions about my marriage to XN. I explained that my pregnancy was a very happy accident, my miracle baby, but marrying XN was a mistake because he didn’t make me happy and we were… Continue reading Letting Go. No. Seriously. Let me go.
When I started watching HBO’s “Big Little Lies” a couple of weeks ago I wasn’t sure what to expect. All I knew was that it was a fiercely female storyline and cast. I was also caught up on the other shows we watch and without my husband for a week so thought I’d check it… Continue reading The Big Little Lies We Tell Ourselves
I want to live my life out loud. I miss living my life out loud. For the year that I was blogging on a weekly basis about my journey to lead a wholehearted life after trauma, I felt incredible, as if I had been set free from the burden of keeping myself a secret. I… Continue reading Living Out Loud
His absence gave my mother the space she needed to find herself. It gave my sisters and me the possibility for peace we hadn’t known. The moments when he would come back into our lives wreaked havoc on any progress I’d made, more often than not he’d be drunk and embarrassing. These occasions opened old wounds and it became very clear to me that the best thing he could do was to stay away.
This week, I did not go to work, not because I didn’t want to but because I couldn’t. I am walking the fine line of keeping my shit together and completely falling apart. I know that, and I also know what my priorities are, which are different than they used to be. Work or a… Continue reading “Even heroes have the right to bleed”