Two days after I wrote about Guidepost 10, Cultivating Laughter, Song, and Dance: Letting go of Cool and in Control, I auditioned for a local production of the Andrew Lippa musical BIG FISH. Last spring, I auditioned for the first time in ten years. I always HATED auditioning. My anxiety got the best of me.… Continue reading Guidepost 10 in Practice, I Mean, Rehearsal
That’s how it started. Taco Bell at the PX in Wurzburg, Germany. Later that day, I took a dose of Dulcolax. After all, I had a whole box left. A couple of times a week turned to every other day which progressed from everyday to multiple times a day
I have been sitting on this last guidepost for a couple of months now. Why? Because this one, cultivating laughter, song, and dance, is suddenly so hard for me. “How is this even possible” I have wondered? When did I start to take myself so seriously? I went to school for laughter, song, and dance.… Continue reading Me and Brené, Cultivating Laughter, Song, and Dance
I am a coward. I hear a lot of talk of my courage, my bravery, my integrity. But the fact of the matter is that I lie to the most important person in my world on a regular basis because I am afraid. I love my son. Telling him “there is nothing I wouldn’t do… Continue reading The Paralysis of Fear
“Comparison is the death of joy.” This quote is attributed to Mark Twain but I first heard it retold by Brené Brown. I think about it a lot. I like to paraphrase it dramatically and say “comparison is where joy GOES TO DIE.” I spend a lot of time, comparing my life to that of… Continue reading Comparison is Where I Go To Die (or A Visit to the Gym)
I am always so grateful for tentative decisions (a decision based on papers submitted with motions that can be passed as an Order of the Court if the parties accept it). It helps me get an idea of where the judge is on things. I called my mom tonight after reading a tentative decision that… Continue reading Has to be a Typo
If you have been involved in a relationship with a narcissist the first direction you will receive from all self-help books on the subject of narcissistic abuse is to cut off all contact. If you have left a domestic relationship that was abusive, being subjected to contact with your abuser can trigger anxiety attacks, flashbacks,… Continue reading Bending in the Wind
In the United States we put so much of our identity on a career. What is the first thing you say to someone at a party? “What do you do?” I am guilty as charged. Our careers take up the vast majority of our lives so they are important. But are they meaningful?
I don’t think I have always been an anxious person. I am a high energy person and have been for as long as I can remember. For most of my adult life, though, I managed to hustle through the day and carve out 45 minutes to journal every night. I did it on minimal caffeine… Continue reading Me and Brené, Cultivating Calm and Stillness
“I'm tired of being pushed around. Tired of being told what to do. Tired of writing your god-darned articles. Tired of dancing to everybody else's tune. Tired of being told whom to marry. In short... I'm tired!” I love this quote as said by an exasperated Barbara Stanwyk in the 1945 holiday classic “Christmas in… Continue reading Me and Brené, Cultivating Play and Rest
My Voice. My Vision. 